Little Whinging Pet Shop
by TheBeardedOne
Summary: A repository of story fragments for Harry Potter (which I do not own).
1. Author's Notes

Authors prologue for all stories.

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The following chapters contain chapters that I wrote for certain stories which started promisingly… until my muse decided to relocate to an alternate dimension with no way of returning.

Needless to say (but I will say it anyway), this has left me with several dead stories.

I am therefore posting these aforementioned deceased articles of literature in the hope that someone out there (hint hint) can take the barely-connected ramblings which hover on the verge of insanity and through hard work and effort (or lots of alcohol) produce something readable.

To do so, just take the chapters and use them as a basis for your own work. Permission is granted in advance.

If you drop me a note once you've published your first chapter (that is the first chapter you wrote rather than copy-pasted or whatever), I'll place a link to it on my profile so that others can come and marvel at how your skill exceeds mine.

(Or laugh at your inability to spell and use the enter button. Whichever.)

For those who do not choose to pick up the gauntlet (£7.99 at all participating stores), the chapters ahead may yet inspire you to write your own fics.

Or you can simply laugh at them. Whichever.

I do have some stories I am working on, so do not abandon all hope.

Oh, who am I kidding. Despair away. See if I care.

Anyway, enjoy the story fragments.


	2. Hero Time

_J. K. Rowling owns Harry Potter and all derivative rights._

_This is a collection of scenes for a planned Harry Potter story that never actually came together._

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**Hero Time**

Scene Collection 1

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Dumbledore poked at the device on the bookshelf with a worried expression. Although young Harry Potter was still at the Dursleys, where he had been placed five years previously, the blood wards had faded almost to nothing and were on the verge of shattering.

A second device wheezed and slowed, causing Dumbledore's frown to increase. _That_ device measured Harry's magical capabilities and it had almost stopped moving, indicating that Harry was at Squib level, almost a Muggle. Given that he had once been a potential Grand Mage, the loss of magic was… worrying.

He would need to go to Privet Drive to see what was going on.

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Harry curled up in a ball of misery in his cupboard. Once again, he wondered what he had done to deserve his life.

"What are you doing here!?"

Harry blinked as Petunia shrieked in the hallway, then another voice spoke.

"I am here to run a few tests, Petunia. Nothing more."

"Nothing more?! Damn you, Dumbledore! You dumped the freak on us, you could at least take him…"

"_Stupify_!"

A thud sounded, then the old man sighed. "I shall remove your memory of this meeting later. Now, let's see… oh dear. Oh, Harry, you had such great potential, but it is gone. You were to be the greatest, the saviour… Oh dear. Well, at least I shall ensure that when you reach the age of majority, your family's wealth will go to those who are deserving."

Harry frowned. Saviour? Family wealth? What was that old man muttering about?

"_Obliviate_. Goodbye, Petunia, you will never see me again."

A crack sounded and Harry rolled over, his brain working furiously.

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Dumbledore stood in the middle of the Wizengamot and waited for the noise to decrease, a sad expression on his face. After a while, the witches and wizards attending the emergency session finished settling down and Dumbledore started to speak.

"My Lords and Ladies, it is with a heavy heart that I come before you, bringing truly heartbreaking news.

"Five years ago, our world was saved by a small boy, the Boy Who Lived, the only one to ever survive the Killing Curse. He survived and Voldemort did not.

"But there was a hidden cost."

The slight murmuring amongst the members of the Wizengamot halted and Dumbledore almost smiled at the feeling of power caused by everyone listening intently to what he was saying.

"The curse did not slay young Harry Potter, but perhaps it would have been for the best if it had. Instead… instead it damaged his magical core. Yesterday, he lost the last of his magic.

"It is with great sorrow… that I must confirm that our saviour… is now a muggle."

The entire Wizengamot erupted in shoued questions and denials before Dumbledore raised his hand for silence.

"I have personally crossed his name out from the Book of Hogwarts as it would be greatly unfair for him to learn of our world, a world that will be denied him. I would not condemn any child to a life of knowing that they could not live in the world in which they were born. It is better by far that he grows up thinking only of himself as a muggle.

"I now call for a moment's silence in honour of his final sacrifice."

Dumbledore lowered his head as if in mourning and hid a smrk of triumph.

The secrets of the Potter line would be his in just over a decade.

Nothing could stop him now.

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_The Blood Wards placed by Dumbledore around number 4 Privet Drive were a true masterwork of sourcery._

_Using the sacrifice performed by Lily Potter, Dumbledore had placed an enchantment around the house that blocked owls, that hid the area from any magic user not keyed into the wards and which cast a _fidelius_ varient that prevented anyone from noticing anything wrong with how Harry was treated._

_But he had made a single mistake._

_He had planned to fuel the wards from the feelings of love that he expected Petunia and Vernon Dursley to have for their nephew. In the absence of that love, the wards instead latched onto the most powerful source of energy that they could find._

_Harry Potter._

_The wards drained his magic only slightly faster than it could replenish, but even as his magical core developed to counter the drain, the drain increased until Harry could no longer support it and the wards started to break down, fading away even as they tried to pull more energy to repair themselves._

_The wards collapsed half an hour after Dumbledore placed a line through Harry's name and shut down the instruments monitoring the Boy Who Lived._

_As a result, Dumbledore missed what happened when Harry's magical core no longer had the constant drain on it._

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Vernon Dursley swore as he stomped in from work. The greatest deal that he had ever been responsible for had fallen through and even though it hadn't been his fault (as confirmed by his boss), he still had to take some responsibility for it.

His foul mood got worse as he saw an odd light suddenly flare around the door of the cupboard under the stairs accompanied by a shrill, fading screech and he slammed a fist against it.

"Boy! What are you doing?!"

His answer wasn't verbal, but instead took the form of the cupboard wall exploding outwards, slamming him against the other side of the hall. The same not-quite-an-explosion ripped the stairs out of their frame, sending them onto the landing. A brief flicker of motion followed and the front door slammed shut as Vernon pulled himself to his feet.

"BOY!"

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Harry ran as fast as he could, not realising that he was outpacing most vehicles because of the magic snapping through his body. He had no idea of what had just happened, but he knew that he'd be blamed for it, so he ran, not realising that he was leaping over cars and even houses as he headed south through the gathering dusk, hoping to find somewhere to hide.

His mad dash came to a sudden end when he crashed into someone, sending them into a wall.

"Whoah! That was _amazing_!"

Harry looked round and his eyes widened at the sight of a lady in a wheelchair.

"You knocked him out!"

"I… I'm sorry…"

"Don't be." The lady smiled as she wheeled herself forwards. "I'm Sandra, who are you?"

"…Harry…"

"Nice to meet you, Harry." Sandra said, catching his hand and shaking it. "Now, what do you say we get out of here before that bastard wakes up?"

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Scene Collection 2

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Harry stared at the book in his hand, as did Sandra.

"How did you _do_ that?"

Harry relaxed. There was no condemnation or anger in her question, just simple curiosity.

"I… don't know. I just… wanted the book."

"Wow." Sandra said, rolling closer. "Hey, perhaps you're telekinetic! Ummm, can you grab that?"

Harry looked at where she was pointing and saw one of the three juggling balls that Sandra occasionally used. Reaching out, he concentrated hard on sending an invisible rope out to pull it to him in the manner of his favourite superhero, Spider-man.

The ball leapt off the shelf and smacked into the palm of his hand.

"Amazing!" Sandra breathed. "It's almost like magic!"

"I don't have magic." Harry protested. "Dummydore said so."

Sandra paused, giving him an odd look. "Wait. Dummy… Dumbledore!? Are you Harry _Potter_?"

Harry swallowed. He'd never actually told her his last name.

"My sister's a witch." Sandra said in explanation. "I had the choice, but after the accident… well, let's just say that everyone agreed that learning magic wasn't a good idea for me."

Harry nodded, although he didn't really understand.

"Anyway," Sandra said. "If you are Harry Potter, then that means that you are one of the richer members of the magical world."

"Dummydore said that my wealth would go to the deserving." Harry reminisced and Sandra growled.

"That bastard! All-right. As soon as you hit eleven, we're going to Gringotts to claim your position as Head of House."

"But…"

"And we're going to work on your magic." Sandra added. "My sister was killed by the Dark Lord, but I know enough to get you started."

Harry nodded.

"And you need to start studying martial arts." Sandra added.

"What?"

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Harry slowly went through the Katas he had been taught while Sandra watched approvingly. Part of the reason for her pride was that over the last few years Harry had learned to control his magic in such a way that, like now, he could walk on any surface, even the ceiling.

His magic could manifest as ropes that allowed him to swing from solid objects, ropes he could lengthen or shorten at will, while he could also create a shield that acted like a sci-fi forcefield or a kinetic blast that could topple a tree (as they had accidently discovered one day in the park).

Harry finished his final Kata and dropped to the floor, landing lightly on his feet, then he looked at Sandra in surprise as she handed a small box to him.

"Happy birthday, Harry."

Harry opened the box, then he frowned at the sight of the small model broom inside it. Lifting it out, he gasped as it expanded to become a full-sized broomstick.

"It's a Cleansweep Seven, one of the better brooms for learners." Sandra said. "There are instructions in the box and you can practice in the woods if you promise to be careful."

Harry nodded.

"Tomorrow, we are going to go to Diagon Alley." Sandra said and Harry spun to look at her in shock. He had heard several stories about it, but had never expected to actually see it himself.

"We'll visit Gringotts so that you can claim your inheritance." Sandra explained. "As the last of a Noble House, you can do that now that you are eleven."

Harry nodded.

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Scene Collection 3

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Albus looked out over the soon-to-be-sorted First Years, his eyes twinkling and a smile on his face that belied the anger underneath.

The inflow of galleons into his vault from the Potter Vault had dried up without warning and when he went to Gringotts to find out what had happened, he had been informed that the House of Potter had a new head, one who had cancelled the transfers.

Who it was, he had no idea. It couldn't have been Harry since Squibs were not capable of making the magical connection with a Lord's Ring, but he wasn't aware of any other Potter who could have claimed the title.

The first student stepped up and Albus pretended to pay attention as his mind churned.

He would have to find out who the new Lord Potter was if he was to have a chance of gaining the wealth of that house.

For the good of Wizarding Society, obviously.

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Harry stared at the burned ruin that had once been the Pottery, the ancient home of the Potters.

"If you wish, Gringotts can recommend several trustworthy builders who can build it anew." Account Manager Slashblade said. Harry nodded, then he grinned.

"Out of curiosity, can Granite be transformed into anything?"

"Granite?" Slashblade echoed in surprise. "Yes, briefly, but the magic wears off quite fast. Why?"

"What would happen if it were turned into water, poured into a large mold and allowed to revert?"

Slashblade's eyes opened wide. "It would hold the new shape…"

"I want a tower." Harry said with a grin. "And are there such things as floating chairs? I want one for Sandra."

"I can have a small flying carpet made to order…" Slashblade agreed after a few seconds of thought. "Where did that idea come from?"

"Cartoons."

Slashblade nodded, making a mental note to check to see what they were.

"How long to build the tower?"

"With your idea and enough builders, a couple of days after you finalise the design."

"Great, know any good architects?"

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A crack of apparition marked Lucius Malfoy's arrival outside Number 4 Privet Drive. Looking round, he glared at the Sold sign in the front garden.

"Bloody muggles." He grumbled as he turned to leave, only to stumble on the kerb and fall straight into the path of a car.

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Draco Malfoy paled as he read the letter that had arrived for him from Gringotts.

What in Merlin's name had his dad been doing in a muggle slum?

"Hey, you look like you've seen a Potter." Blaise Zabini joked and Draco turned the letter slightly so that the dark-skinned lad could read it.

"Bloody hell!" Zabini whistled. "Nice to make your acquaintance, Lord Malfoy!"

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Scene Collection 4

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"What the…?"

Harry grinned as Sandra stared in shock at the large door tucked behind the main staircase. Through the doorway, another room could be seen with floor-to-ceiling windows showing the London skyline.

"It's a Portal." Harry explained. "Cost me over a hundred thousand Galleons to have it installed, but it links the Tower to the Penthouse in london. I didn't want you to have to leave your friends behind."

Sandra reached out and hugged him, then she floated through the archway.

"What if someone sees it?" She asked, turning round, then she blinked. Instead of an arch, there was a large oil painting hanging on the wall showing a static view of Hogwarts. A moment later, Harry emerged from the wall, grinning.

"It's hidden on this side." He laughed, then he ducked back through the portrait. Sandra shook her head as Harry stuck his own head through, then moved left and right, making it look like his disembodied head was floating.

"Whooooooooooooo, I'm a floating head!"

"Idiot." Sandra sighed fondly, then she looked round.

"So, the Tower is your secret base?"

"Yep." Harry said as he re-emerged from the Portal. "I always wanted to be a hero like Spider-man…"

"And you're richer than Bruce Wayne." Sandra interjected. "Fine, but not yet. We'll wait a few years."

"Awwwwwwww."

.

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Author's Afternote.

The idea was that Harry would become the first Superhero, patrolling London with Sandra acting as his mission control. He would eventually be joined by Sirius Black after he escaped Azkaban and hunted down Pettigrew, proving his innocence.

With Lucius Malfoy dead, the Basilisk wouldn't be released, but Draco would find the Diary and be used by Voldemort as his new host.

Harry's powers are –

Telekinetic ropes that he fires from his hands, using them like Spiderman's web-swinging

A telekinetic shield

Telekinetic blasts

Magical speed/strength boosts

Wall/ceiling/water walking

Harry would learn actual magic from Sirius and Remus. After Malfoymort launches a series of attacks that cause the Statute of Secrecy to be broken, Harry goes public as a hero and confronts Malfoymort, defeating him by means of his "superhero abilities". Voldmort abandons Malfoy, alerting Remus to the realisation that he isn't fully dead…


	3. Hermione's Cat

Another story idea which was abandoned after finding a superior version of it had already been written.  
The extract is from Arrows of the Queen, written by Mercedes Lackey and published in 1987.

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**Hermione's cat**

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Transformation scene

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Boy peeped out through the air vent set in the door to his room under the stairs, staying back far enough that the light shining through wouldn't reflect off his eyes but so that he could still make out what was on the screen in the living room.

It was coming to the end of the programme and on the screen was a large, black jaguar looking after several smaller ones. Boy's eyes briefly filled with tears as he watched the cubs snuggle up to their mother.

Footsteps alerted him and he quickly (but silently) folled himself up in the tattered sheet that served as his bedding, making sure that he was facing away from the door. The darkness of his cupboard briefly lifted as the door opened, then closed.

"The freak's asleep." Ver'on rumbled as the television was switched off. Another set of footsteps announced Tuni was leaving the living room and dust fell on Boy as the two went upstairs.

'_I wish that I could be like those cats and have someone to snuggle up to.'_ Boy thought as his eyes closed. _'I really, really, really wish…'_

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It is a little-known fact that almost every single magical spell has its roots in accidental magic.  
The levitation charm was the result of an adult witch seeing her daughter playing with a wooden bird that she had made fly. Knowing that such a thing was possible, the witch experimented, finally creating the _Wingardium Leviosa_ spell that duplicated what her daughter did.  
Colour changing charms, protective shields, flying brooms, all of them were created as ways of duplicated on purpose what children could do almost unthinkingly.  
Even the Killing Curse was based on accidental magic, a young girl who protected herself from a rapist.  
The Animagus Transformation was another such spell derived from accidental magic. Due to the complexities of the spell, very few witches and wizards ever learned it, and none of them fully explored the possibilities, such as _slightly modifying_ their base form.  
But in the end, all magic boils down ro a desire for something to happen, the determination to make it happen and the drive to achieve the end result.  
A wish could fulfill those requirments.

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When the door was flung open by Tuni, Boy was roused from his sleep by a high-pitched scream. Startled, he dashed out of the cupboard, then came to a halt, looking at his reflection in the television.

He was a cat!

Tuni's screams grew louder and Harry heard the _thud_ of Ver'on's feet hitting the floor. Making a quick decision, he ran to the back door and hurled himself onto the door handle, using his weight to pull it down and open the door. Landing on the ground, he ran out past the bins and through the hedge at the back, intent on escaping into the wider world.

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Reaction Scene

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Dumbledore appeared in the deepening dusk and strode up the path to Number 4 Privet Drive. Casting a silent _Alohomora_ at the door, he stormed into the house, finding all three people in the living room, watching the television.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Petunia gasped and Dumbledore cast a spell to hold them all immobile.

"Where is Harry?" Dumbledore ground out. "What did you do to him?"

"He ran off and good riddance!" Vernon snapped angrily. "We never wanted him anyway!"

Dumbledore glared at him, using his Legilimency to examine his memories, then he paled.

"You kept him in the cupboard under the stairs!"

"It was too good for a freak like him!" Petunia whined. "He was a freak just like his mother!"

Dumbledore sagged as the enormity of his mistake crashed home on him.

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Meeting scene

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Hermione was _bored_. She had had enough of her cousins. While they were older than her, they were just so _stupid_ and didn't even understand things like the Hobbit. They could barely follow things like the Jungle Book!

Her brooding introspection was cut short by a rustling and she stood up, looking at the bush that was shaking slightly.

"Hello?"

There was no answer and Hermione moved slowly towards the bush.

"Hello? Is anyone there?"

Hermione almost screamed in shock as a cats head suddenly thrust forwards, through the leaves of the bush. The shock was enough that she fell backwards, landing on her backside as her eyes remained transfixed by the cat.

"Mweow?"

"Oh, you're _beautiful_!" Hermione whispered as the cat looked at her. Her eyes met its bright green eyes which shon brilliantly against its black fur, fur that was marred only by a silvery jagged line of white fur above his left eye.

The cat slowly uncloiled from its shelter in the bush and stalked oer to her and Hermione blinked at the sight of its ribs showing.

"Oh you need food!" She gasped. "Wait here!"

Luck was with her and the kitchen was empty. She grabbed a handful of leftover meat cuts, shoved them into a bowl and scampered back into the garden.

"Here, here's some food."

The cat looked at her as she put the bowl down, then it started to eat quickly, purring as it did so.

"I think I'll call you Bagheera." Hermione said, causing the newly-named cat to look at her before returning to its meal. "If only I could take you home with me…"

The cat looked at her again, its head cocked slightly.

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Hermione scrambled into the back of the car as her parents said goodbye to her aunt and uncle, then a slight brushing sensation caused her to look down at her feet, where a pair of familiar eyed looked up at her.

"Bagheera?"

Bagheera nodded and Hermione's eyes widened.

"Are… you coming with me?"

Another nod answered her and Hermione smiled widely,then she gasped.

"I… we'll have to hide you when we get home!"

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Growing Up Scenes

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Hermione sat in her little open-fronted shelter in the back garden, reading her newest book. Bagheera lounged across the desk just behind her, his head resting on her shoulder as he followed her moving finger.

"…all of them, more than friends; they were kin." Hermione read. "The important kind, soul-kindred. Her family. Her _real_ family. _This_ was where she'd belonged all along: as she'd told Skif, it had just taken her this long to see it.  
"And with a lighter heart, she turned back down the path that led to the Collegium.  
"The Collegium – and home."

Hermione closed the book and leaned back, resting her head against Bagheera's flank.

"I liked that." She half-whispered and Bagheera nodded.

"Mmmmheee ttooooo."

Hermione reached up and stroked Bagheera between his ears, smiling as his eyes slitted with pleasure.

"Hermione! Dinner time!" A distant voice called and Hermione sighed.

"Coming, mother!"

"Tooommmorworrw?"

"Of course." Hermione smiled as she rose from her comfortable pose. "Love you!"

"Luuvvv yeuuuu tooo." Bagheera mewed back as he rose and stretched before quickly licking Hermione on her cheek. Giggling, Hermione dried her cheek on her sleeve, kissed Bagheera on his forehead and then trotted off.

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Hermione trotted into the garden, dressed only in her one-piece swimsuit. Runnign to the sheltered area that contained her shelter, she spread out the rug and then dashed back to the house to grab the jug of squash, a cup and a shallow bowl. Returning to the rug, she smiled at the sight of Bagheera sprawled along one side.

"You look almost like a fur rug." She said teasingly and a green eye cracked open to look at her.

"You're just jealous of my perfect hair." He shot back and Hermione was torn between admiration for his lack of a feline accent (who knew that ventriloquism was so useful) and annoyance at the reminder of her frizzy hair of doom (as her dad had jokingly nicknamed it). Unable to decide, she simply flopped onto the rug, then she rolled to press her spine against Bagheera.

"Not studying today?" The dark feline teased and Hermione _huff_ed in amused annoyance.

"There's more to life than studying." She declared, ignoring Bagheera's sudden snickering. "What?"

"There's more to life than studying?" Bagheera repeated in amusement. "Who are you and what have you done with Hermione?"

"Oh, shut up." Hermione smiled. "It's all your fault, you taught me how to relax."

"I'm a cat." Bagheera sniffed. "Of course I'd know all about relaxing."

Hermione giggled as she luxuriated in the heat from the sun and the warmth of the cat at her back, then she wrinkled her nose.

"You've been eating moles again."

"They're tasty." Bagheera protested.

"They make your breath stink!"

Bagheera snorted and dropped his head to the ground.

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The Letter

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Hermione and her parents (Dan and Emma) exchanged glances as the grey-haired lady sat down.

"So, why are you here, miss…?"

"McGonagall, Minerva McGonagall." The woman said, pulling a parchment envelope out of her cloak. "I am here because your daughter has some unusual abilities. Have you ever noticed anything odd happen, especially when your daughter was emotional?"

Hermione's parents exchanged looks and Minerva nodded.

"Your daughter is magical. I mean that in the most literal sense. She has magic and needs to learn to control it. If she doesn't… then her magic will be bound and her memories… and _yours_ of this meeting will be removed from her mind."

"And what effect would having her magic bound have?" Dan asked slowly.

"It would be taking away a part of her." Minerva sighed. "Untrained magic is often dangerous, which is why it must be either trained or bound. If bound… those who have their magic bound tend to have shorter lives, losing as much as a decade or two from their allotted span. They are aware at some level that they are missing something, but they do not know what."

"And what does training magic entail?" Dan enquired.

"At Hogwarts school, your daughter will be taught how to control her magic, how to channel it to perform spells, charms and enchantments."

"And what can magic _do_?" Emma asked. By way of an answer, Minerva stood up, then she seemed to shrink and morph into a tabby cat.

"Can I learn that?" Hermione squealed, looking up from her letter and Minerva reverted back to her human form.

"The Animagus transformation is very complex, most students do not even try it, although when you have passed your OWLS, I would be happy to teach you, assuming your grades are good enough."

Hermione nodded, then her gaze fastened on the bottom of the letter.

"It says I can have a cat, an owl or a toad. I have a cat…"

"You do?" Emma asked and Hermione nodded.

"Yep. Are there any limits on the type of cat I can have?"

"I do not believe so." Minerva said slowly and Hermione bounced out of her chair.

"Wait here! Bagheera! Bagheera!"

All three adults exhanged confused glances as Hermione rocketed out of the room,then Emma scramed as her daughter re-entered, followed by a large cat that was almost waist-height to her.

"Mum, dad, this is Bagheera. He's my cat."

"Actually, you are my human, but I'll let it slide." Bagheera replied and all three adult's jaws dropped. "What? Have you never met a talking cat before?"

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The Train

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"Who are you?"

Hermione looked up from the book she was reading. Staring at her was a blond boy wearing obviously-expensive clothing and flanked by a pair of bulky lads that looked like bodyguards.

"Hermione Granger."

"Granger?" The boy repeated with a sneer. "I don't remember any Granger family in the wizarding society."

"I'm the first witch in my family…" Hermione started and the boy's sneer grew more pronounced.

"You're a _mudblood_?"

"No, she's _my_ human." A voice growled and the black shape that the boy had mistaken for a bundled cloak unfolded itself into a giant cat with very sharp teeth. "She is under my protection. _You_, on the other hand, are _prey_. You smell like a ferret, and I enjoy ripping out their insides and feasting on them. I'm feeling rather hungry…"

The boy paled before running away with his bookends following.

"Coward." Bagheera sniffed.

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_Authors afternotes._

_My plan was to have Harry remain as Bagheera for the first three years, sniffing out Quirrelmort (man with two scents) and Pettigrew (rat who smells like a man). In the second year, Bagheera and Hermione would end up facing the Basilisk, killing it although Bagheera would get bitten and be saved by Fawkes (although it would change him so that his claws could extrude poison)._

_Harry's true identity would be revealed in the fourth year when his name comes out of the Goblet and a tracking spell reveals who he really is. After learning that her cat is really human, Hermione would then study how to be an Animagus under Sirius, finally learning to become a large cat herself._

_Beyond that… yeah. No clue._

_Edit - The stories that paralleled this one are  
Growing Up Kneazle (_Highly_ recommended)  
The Accidental Animagus (Recommended)  
The Natural Animagus (meh...)  
Wolf (Recommended)_


	4. The Inevitable Rejection Letter

_The inevitable rejection letter._

_Because all HP authors have to do this and/or a Marriage Law fic…_

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Deputy Headmistress McGonogall.

I admit that I was quite surprised to have your letter to my ward delivered by an owl. May I congratulate whoever applied the multiple charms to the bird, allowing it to subconsciously bend time and space to get to where it needs to without having to fly thousands of miles.

Before I continue, please allow me to fill you in on some history.

Young Harry Potter came to my attention almost six years ago, when a quest of mine happened to take me past his house and I saw that he had been locked out for the night because he hadn't managed to weed the garden properly.

Realising his potential, I took him in and raised him. His accidental magic intrigued me and Harry and myself worked together to determine its limitations and utilisations. Within three years, we had managed to train his power so that he remotely could move things at will and even teleport short distances.

Harry's magical prowess was greatly enhanced when I and a few mages of my acquaintance created a magical staff so that he could focus his power. At the same time, they removed the soul leech on his forehead (which was apparently done in such a way that it caused the demise of the spirit that relied on it). Since then, he has grown into a very healthy and intelligent young boy.

Although I have overseen his magical education so far, I have not actually participated in it since most of my magic relies on music as its medium. Nevertheless, I can confirm that young Harry is enjoying his lessons, not only in magic but in courtly graces, swordsmanship, chivalry and many other useful subjects.

A month ago, young Harry became the apprentice of my friend Korendil and is learning the ways of knighthood from him. As such, I am afraid that I cannot allow Harry to attend your school as not only would it interrupt his lessons, it would also be seen as a grave insult to all of Elfhame Misthold and such an insult would be dealt with in a very severe and probably lethal fashion.

Prince Arvin has already contacted the Goblins of Gringotts regarding Harry's inheritance and asks if the true secret keeper of the failed fidelius, the rat animagus Peter Pettigrew, has been caught and punished for his betrayal. Harry's Godfather, Sirius Orion Black, has been retrieved from the prison of Azkaban, tried and found innocent by Prince Arvin and has been re-united with his Godson.

I extend my sincere apologies for any inconvenience that this has caused, but I must remind you that the will of an Elven Prince is not to be taken lightly.

May you live in health and happiness.

Eric Banyon.

Bard of Elfhome Underhill.

_Minerva, contact Remus and tell him that the damned rat is alive. He'll know what the bastard looks like._

_I never betrayed James and Lily. This I swear on my honour as a Marauder._

_Find that damned rat._

_Sirius._

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This letter brought to you by the Bedlam's Bard series by Mercedes Lackey.


	5. Lord Potter

_Scenes from another Potter-fic that failed to work out._

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**Lord Potter**

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"_And so I, the son of Merope Gaunt, descendent of Salazar Slytherin himself, decided that I needed to be feared._" The shade of Tom Riddle stated, puffing out his chest in remembered pride. Waving the wand, his full name of _Tom Marvolo Riddle_ flowed into the air in flaming letters, then rearranged itself. "_I created a _new_ personae for myself, a name that would cause the world to tremble before me and let me claim what I was owed and denied!_"

As a shocked Harry watched, the letters moved to form the phrase _I Am Lord Voldemort_.

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Harry lay in the hospital bed, leafing through the book that he had asked for and which a surprised Poppy Pomphrey had fetched for him. A few beds over, Ginny Weasley was asleep, recovering from the posession that had almost claimed her soul.

Harry read a certain paragraph very carefully, then he grinned as he checked a second book.

At long last, he would be able to escape his _oh-so-caring_ relatives.

And it would _really_ annoy Draco and Snape.

Perfect.

Reaching out one hand, Harry frowned in concentration and Gryffindor's Sword appeared in his hand.

"What did Dumbledore say? Only a _true_ Gryffindor can summon the sword?" He mused. "Hmmm, I wonder..."

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"And so, we end another wonderful year at Hogwarts." Dumbledore smiled, his eyes sparkling. "Before we have our feast… You wished to say something, Harry?"

Harry nodded as he walked up towards the front of the hall, ignoring Snape's sneer. "I do indeed. By the Laws of Magic, I, Harry James Potter, do hereby confirm that I have defeated one Tom Marvolo Riddle three times in mortal combat and, as such, claim from him the position of the Head of the Slytherin Line by right of conquest. So mote it be, so mote it be, so mote it be!"

Harry thrust his right hand into the air as he finished the chant and a burst of magic briefly blinded everyone, fading to reveal a ring shaped like a snake on Harry's finger.

"Let all know that I am now Lord Slytherin." Harry said with a smirk.

"This… this isn't possible!" Snape yelped and Harry turned to face the shortest professor.

"Professor Flitwick, may I avail myself of your services? I assume that you can draw words in the air and move the letters."

"I can." Flitwick squeaked. "What do you want me to write?"

"The name Tom Marvolo Riddle, if you please." Harry replied, then he waited as the half-goblin waved his wand, causing the words to appear.

"Now, if you can move the following letters in this order, please. I, space, A, M, space L…"

As Harry continued several gasps and screams sounded, rising to a crescendo as the last letter was moved. A cannonblast charm from Flitwick shocked everyone into silence.

"I defeated him when I was a baby, I defeated him last year when he was possessing Quirrel and I defeated him and his Basilisk three days ago." Harry stated. "I am the _new_ Lord Slytherin and…"

Harry raised his other hand, causing Gryffindor's Sword to appear in it, "I am the Chosen of Gryffindor as well."

A pin would have sounded deafening in the Great Hall and Harry smirked as he turned to the shocked Dumbledore.

"I believe that this makes me an adult in the eyes of the law. Professor Flitwick, may I impose upon you once more to escort me to Gringotts tomorrow to claim my inheritance?"

"Of course, Lord Slytherin." Flitwick chuckled as beside him, Snape opened and closed his mouth in impotant rage.

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"You really set a wyvern amonst the nifflers, my Lord." Flitwick chuckled as he helped Harry to his feet. Harry glared at the Floo, then sighed.

"Please, it's just Harry. Only those I dislike need to use my title."

Flitwick nodded as he led the way to the back yard of the Leaky Caudron.

"I thought that Snape would have a heart attack."

"It's a shame I didn't get any points for killing the Basilisk," Harry sighed, "But the look on Draco's face when he realised that I was really Lord Slytherin… I wonder how long before it hits the papers?"

The two of them chuckled as the archway opened, then they began walking to Gringotts.

"I may need your advice, Professor."

"Please, outside the school, it's Filius, or Flitwick if you need to be formal." Flitwick chuckled. "I'll be glad to help."

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Harry glared at the now-quiescant parchment that held the Last Will and Testament of his parents, then he looked up at the goblin who was overseeing the process.

"Please arrange to have a copy of this will sent to every newspaper and magazine in the Wizarding World." He growled. "Since I am already a legal adult thanks to my position as Lord Slytherin, we don't need to worry about that bit, but I'll take the Potter Ring now."

"As you wish." Snarlfang said, passing across a wooden box. Place this on your hand and it will merge with the ring you already wear."

Harry nodded and opened the box. Pulling out the signet ring, he placed it on his finger, blinking as a small burst of magic fused it with his Slytherin Ring.

"Congratulations, Lord Potter." Flitwick said. "Regarding the Will, may I make a suggestion?"

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Barnabus Cuffe stared at the originator of the story that had (literally) walked into his office.

"Let me see if I have this right." He finally managed. "Sirius Black never received a tiral and so, if he isn't given one, with Veritaserum, you are going to simply abandon the Wizarding World?"

Harry nodded. "I know you received a copy of the Potter Will, which was _not_ executed before today, and which suggests that _someone_ has been trying to control me. As such, I have very little reason to remain in the Wizarding World and many reasons to leave. My oath-sworn godfather getting a proper trial would be a reason to stay."

Barnabus nodded, scrabbling for a quill and some parchment.

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_This was intended as a "Harry breaks free" type of story, but many of them have been done already and I couldn't think of a way to make this one unique._

_Hopefully it'll inspire someone._


	6. The Letter Of Negotiation

_Author's Note – All characters are owned by Warner Bros and Disney._

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Dear Professor McGonogall.

Thank you for the most fascinating piece of correspondence delivered to my son. I must point out, however, that you seem to have missed a few details.

The most important one is that Harry is already a Magus. He has learned not only how to cast spells from the _Magus' Grimoire_, which I acquired several decades ago, he has also taken instruction from Puck, a close and valued friend of mine, in the ways of Sihde magic.

It has been fascinating, and very instructive.

Although I myself am not magical, I knew almost every detail of young Harry's life within a year of finding him being beaten by his cousin while I was overseeing the move of my newest home from Scotland to the top of my skyscraper. Seeing a spark of intelligence in him, I arranged to adopt Harry, giving him a home where he could thrive, and thrive he has.

In terms if education, Harry, although only eleven, has already attained his High School Diploma (which probably means little to an insular society such as yourself) and is continuing his studies. He is also good friends with the Gargoyles which live in my castle and has helped me to form a mutually beneficial working relationship with them, avoiding several situations that would have damaged the trust between us. Physically, Harry is very fit and is only a single grading away from becoming a Black Belt. His accuracy with firearms is incredible and he regularly beats me in our monthly competitions.

Magically, Puck has stated that Harry is one of the strongest human mages he has ever encountered, even more so since he removed the soul fragment residing in the scar on Harry's forehead. Apparently the fragment was from a dark wizard named Tom Marvolo Riddle who made several soul reliquaries in his search for immortality, costing himself his sanity in the process.

Puck was rather offended by this and has since acquired all of the reliquaries and purged them of their soul fragments.

I have the relics on display in the Great Hall of my castle. Apparently they are quite magical. The Diadem, for instance, imparts quite a bit of knowledge on the wearer, but only for so long as it is worn.

One of my trusted associates is transcribing the knowledge for future generations.

As for the Potter Fortune, I have had it relocated to Gringotts America and overseen its investing in the magical and mundane worlds. Puck has also reclaimed the Cloak from your Headmaster.

I am certain that he will understand.

I have no real issue with my eldest son attending your school and Harry is excited with the possibility of learning a new type of magical tradition. Nevertheless, I must insist that your headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, come to my castle to explain why Harry was placed with those totally unsuited for him under such shoddy and ill-thought out wards, wards which Puck fixed and moved, along with the monitoring spells which, now that you have opened this letter, have been broken.

I look forwards to some learned discourse.

Yours sincerely,

David Xanatos

Xanatos Enterprises

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_Young Harry is our friend and a member of our clan._

_Your headmaster had better explain himself or he will face our wrath for abandoning Harry._

_Dictated by Goliath of Clan Wyvern_

_Scribed by Owen Barnett_

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Professors.

My mother has taken quite an interest in young Harry, so if you let anything happen to him, not only will you face Titania's wrath, you will also face mine.

Be aware that I would perfer Harry to remain here. Alexander adores him.

Yours.

Fox Xanatos.

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_Author's Afternote – Yep, a Gargoyles crossover._

_Why Disney tries to ignore one of the best cartoons they have ever made, I have no idea._


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